Assembling Self

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Secrets, Deception & Lies OH MY!

I have waited to tackle this most sordid portion of adoption because frankly I didn't know where to start, or better, where to stop.  It's fairly easy for people to understand, in some capacity, an adoptee's need to know where they came from and their search for their families of origin, especially when it comes to health issues.  A little harder it is to persuade others regarding the civil rights stance for adoptee access to identifying information and debunk the birth mother confidentiality fallacy that's hand fed by the adoption powers that be, such as the National Council For Adoption, to the general public.  But what is even more difficult, if not nearly impossible, is convincing people of the vast corrupt nature of the business that is adoption, and the fraud and dishonesty prevalent and ongoing today.  As we who are in the midst of it know all too well, the evidence is disgustingly overwhelming.

I could go on to quote and list numerous agencies, attorneys, and numerous other persons involved in adoption corruption.  I will do that later, but not right now.  However, if you would like to do so please just type "Adoption Fraud" into your search browser and you'll see for yourself.  Most of these cases populated are adoptive parents who were defrauded by agencies or scammed by prospective birth parents.  What I do want to do right now, is relay examples of some of those that fall victim to the unethical practices in adoption.  The most innocent victims, adoptees.

Adoption Agencies Lie pulled up this site, among numerous others.  One blogger wrote about adoption agencies; "They are as noble as a car dealership."  Those of us who know AGREE!

When I first got online and discovered the adoption community I was not prepared for what I encountered.  Right off the bat I began to hear stories of coercion, lies, and duplicity.  I was shocked to say the least.  And, the most shocking of it all was that I would come to find out my own adoption search would be involved in the covert and questionable methods used in adoption.  But, that is for a whole other blog.

I've heard many, many, first mothers state they had left letters to their children they relinquished with the adoption agency if their grown children ever came looking for them.  And parents and searching adoptees discover later after reunion, these letters were "missing", or had vanished as if they never existed.  Add to that the amount of first parents and adoptees who have left letters for consent for contact in their files with agencies only to be told repeatedly upon checking back that no one was looking for them, or no match was found on the state adoption registry.  Later after finding one another through other means they recognize they have been lied to.  Adoptees who in the beginning are so prized become chattel to the adoption system once they are adopted.

I have people tell me that open adoption is far more common now and connections between adoptive children and their families remain intact.  I beg to differ.  Ask the hundreds, if not thousands, of first parents out there who have had the door slammed shut on them after being manipulated out of their newborn children for adoption with promises of whatever it took, letters, photos, and or visits.  There is no legal recourse for a natural parent to pursue the promised terms of an open adoption as adoptive parents hold all the legal rights to the child.  Their children's names have been changed, possibly their dates of birth, and any information about them is sealed by law in the majority of states.

Many times relinquishment is only given by the natural mother and the natural father is left out of the whole equation.  Many of these natural fathers are not even notified they have a child to begin with.  These agencies like to over look minor little "details" like this (as in the recent case of Grayson Vaughn) and continue to come out smelling like a rose because suing an adoption agency is costly, timely, and difficult.   Once again adoptees are treated as property and lose as they are stripped of their biological families.

I hear these stories this over, and over and over again.  All of this is INEXCUSABLE.  It is a disgrace to the institution of adoption and a blatant slap in the face to adoptees everywhere.

These adoption agencies and lawyers should be held accountable for their actions! Many of these adoption agencies operate under the definition of "non-profit" while taking in massive amounts of money for adoptions.  Adoption agencies take our heredity and family histories and sell them, and then deny our requests for our original identities.  Adoption is supposed to function in the best interest of the children it is supposed to provide for and instead, does them a great disservice. 

The Adoption industry has functioned for far too long unwatched, untended, and unregulated.  They are out there now advertising their services, marketing to birth parents, and perpetuating this cycle of greed and covetousness for other people's children.  They turn adoptees into very profitable commodities.  They violate an adoptee's civil rights!  And, it is all being done in the name of "Adoption".


  1. "It is a disgrace to the institution of adoption and a blatant slap in the face to adoptees everywhere" The actual institution of adoption in America is an unethical disgrace.
    Presidents, even adopted ones encourage it and nothing is done to regulate it because it's convenient to cater to the huge and profitable market in which children are commodities...does it remind you of slavery?

  2. YES Von it does! I hate to even mention slavery in relation to adoption to people because they are SO offended by it, but it is the truth.