Assembling Self

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Missing Ties - Adoption Loss

Missing Ties

A missing sock whose mate is gone.
A distant pair apart so long.
A broken bridge never rebuilt.
Like patches missing from a quilt.
An unfinished letter misplaced and lost.
Undotted I's and T's not crossed.
A phone line with connections broken.
Important words that can't be spoken.
And in each stranger on the street.
We search the faces that we meet,
To find out who it is we are.
The distant ties that seems so far.

Short blog today for NAAM as I am battling immense pain from the usual health issues.  Once again today I found myself defending adoptees who were called pathetic and bitter.  I am mature enough, as the accuser pointed out, to realize these accusations come from those who have no true understanding of adoptee issues.  But, the reality is they exist in our lives no matter what "others" try and tell us.  The lines of this poem are symbolic of the disconnections we encounter in this thing called "being adopted.

We have to walk these in these adopted shoes each and every day.  Adoption is not a one time transaction, it is a life time experience.  Adoption is forever not something you "get over".  We learn to deal and heal from the scars and wounds adoption gives us, and go on to hopefully give our understanding to others.

Much thanks and love to my fellow adoption educators, reformers, and activists.  You help make my life worth living.  And yes, somewhere I inherited that sappy gene...thanks first Mom & Dad. :)


  1. Ah!The sappy gene! Thanks for it parents! xx

  2. I love that sappy gene... it goes so well with out zippy gene ;-)

  3. that was supposed to say - " it goes so well with OUR zippy gene" geesh

  4. Sappy and zippy alright, I embrace myself!