Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad. ~Aldous Huxley
And when you realize the lack of ethics and truth in adoption it does! Most people who really have never looked at adoption through the eyes of an adoptee, or other parties involved first hand, have only the sugar coated terms and vocabulary to use that has been fed to the masses by the adoption industry for decades. The adoption industry has been incredibly convincing of the great wonders and magic of creating families by adoption, but are not ever very forth coming about the harsh realities it revolves around. Why would they? Their jobs, income, and future depend on maintaining control of adoption in whatever capacity they can. Damage control comes in many forms with "National Adoption Month", Press Releases, and happy stories of families who were brought together by "God". However, they fail to mention first they were separated by "man". Plus they sprinkle their preconceived notions and expectations with terms of “grateful” and “thankful” and promote the happy adoptee image who was “given a family who wanted them”. They don't tell you how many tens thousands of dollars they earn from buying and selling our human rights, and off of separating us from our families of origin.
There is just so my hypocrisy between what we are taught and told in regards to how to treat other people and deal with the rest of the world, and how the business of adoption functions. Most people either don't realize, or over look these problems and issues, because they are convinced by the industry propaganda who continue to want to be the exclusive authority about how adoption is supposed to function. The truth is adoptees are bound by written law, policy, procedure, and by the expectations of others who profit from it, and continue to control adoptees lives past and future. Here are just a few examples of the contradictions between reality and adoption.
“Tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth." We pledge this on a bible in court and if caught not doing so we can be charged with perjury and punished. This is what our legal system is based on truth telling, facts, and not fiction. My ammended birth certificate is a fictitious and falsified government document. My biological parents are lieing to their children about my existence. My life is based on lies, but I am expected to adhere to honest behavior and will continually be held accountable for it throughout my life.
“Thou shalt not lie” one of the great ten commandments . I was raised by this one. Although it seems to be forgotten and over looked in adoption. What part of lieing to adopted children and adults is healthy for them? I thought good parents led by example? I found out that my adoptive parents had been withholding information, crucial, vital, life changing information from me about my adoption that could have made a huge difference in my life. It has taken awhile but I have forgiven them. They were also victims in the “blank slate theory” that was fed to them by the industry, as well as, the ownership premise for the children obtained by adoption means.
“You are only as good as your word”. Many adoption agencies, social workers, and lawyers too lie, cover up, and deny adoptees, biological parents, and adoptive parents the truth in many adoption situations. If you don't believe me look up how many law suits have been brought against The Gladney Center for Adoption and how many have been settled out of court. Count how many adoption agencies have been closed down for fraudulent activities, and corrupt lawyers who have been sued, disbarred, and charged with illegal transactions in adoption. Child trafficking is not something that happens in a country “over there”, it is alive and well in this country and thriving being labeled as “adoption”.
Money talks and I can certainly attest and bear witness to its power in adoption. It's a harsh reality and one that is hard to truly comprehend, except for those of us who have experienced it up close and personal. There should be integrity in adoption not the manipulation and subjugation of adoptees by the industry. I will never, ever, give up fighting for the restored rights for adoptees to access to their original birth certificates along with the truth that has been hidden, covered up, and stripped from us for decades.
If a thousand old beliefs were ruined in our march to truth we must still march on. ~Stopford Brooke
Integrity in adoption?? That'll be the day!Ethics and adoption don't appear on the same page.Never seem to have and probably never will while money is involved.The Adoption Industry is the 1% and we are the 99% don't you think?
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog through Lost Daughters. I'm looking forward to reading you.
ReplyDeleteYeah Von I had a hard time typing "integrity" and adoption in the same sentence. Sally hope you enjoy what I write. I write for myself, I write for other adoptees, and I wrote for others hoping it will help educate and change a system that failed so many of us.
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