Assembling Self

Saturday, February 15, 2014

More Adoption Myth Busting

I've been reading and commenting on an article about the New Jersey bill that will allow adoptees the right to their original birth certificate.  A bill that was passed by the house and the senate but vetoed by Governor Christie last year.  It is more than frustrating to attempt to educate people who refuse to listen or even consider the adoptee voice and experience.  Especially when adoptees ourselves advocate for equal rights, to the same legislators, and it continually falls on deaf ears and closed minds.

Some comments I've encountered recently regarding Adoptee rights:

"Be happy with what you have."  Ok, then let's have the government kidnap your family, ALL of them, and hide them from you in some remote inaccessible area and if you beg and plead long and hard enough and pay enough money they might, just MIGHT, let you know where they are.  Of course, they might not too that is their right.  You have none.  Oh btw, be happy about it.

"No one needs identification these days you can vote without an ID."  Don't confuse identification with identity.  Adoptees deserve their original identities they were born with that is printed on their original birth certificate.  What they do with that is their right just as it is for every other citizen.  Period.

"What if these biological parents are "bad" it should be up to the adopted parents themselves to tell the adoptee if they feel it is right for them to know."  And, what if they are not?  What if they are wonderful?  What if they want contact?  What if they don't?  What if they are deceased?  What if there is a whole biological family to welcome them?  This is what most people get confused, the difference between rights and relationships.  What if's don't matter in relation to OBC access, rights do. 

"These women are going to have abortions instead of adopting if they can be found."  Can we please get OFF the correlations between adoption and abortion FINALLY???  There is not a fact nor a statistic anyone has (or ever has had) that open records will 'cause more women to have abortions.  In fact, the opposite is actual true just look at states like Alaska and Kansas who have never closed adoption records.  Or, to Oregon who opened theirs over a decade ago.  Adoptees are receiving their original birth certificates in other states as well that have opened and no traumatic events are occurring and no tragedies are mounting because of it.  Can we be done with this lame argument now?

I understand adoption is difficult to comprehend for those who have not experienced it themselves.  And, it is not the same as having a relative who is adopted or knowing someone that is adopted.  What adoptees do NOT understand is the frequent dismissal of our requests to be heard and understood.  As if we were whiney little children who really don't know what they want or are need of and instead are and sent off for a nap, a time-out, or are simply ignored.

I really can not wrap my brain around how people fight against us in this really simple basic request for our original birth certificates.  And, how adoptees still are continually denied the same basic human rights as other citizens.  And worse, chastised for asking!

DENIED - By The Government

I plead though they ignore my cries.
The record's sealed is their reply.
Time and time again I ask.
I'm told to put it in the past.
I can't get them to try and see.
They have what belongs to me.
I beg for truth but no one hears.
It only falls upon deaf ears.
I get no matter how I try.
The same stone cold response DENIED.

1 comment:

  1. These mothers will have abortions if their identities will be revealed?
    Good. This is still a better alternative to being raised as a pretend child.