Assembling Self

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Erased - An Adoptee's Loss of Heredity and Family History


An emptied soul stands alone.
They erased who I was and gave me a new home.
Now lies not truth where my life used to be.
How could they take that away from me?
Did they really believe I'd never question,
what they gave me as a definition?
Of this person I was supposed to become,
and never look back on where I came from?
Where does one really draw the line
on how much past you can leave behind?
They expect out of us what they themselves could not do.
Despite what they say I am searching.
Wouldn't you?

Many of us have been over in the ACLU's comment section educating others regarding adoptee rights this week over the ACLU's stance against our legislative efforts for open access to original birth certificates.  I thought this poem fit the scenarios we've encountered in continued opposition from the misinformed masses.  I am still baffled and amazed that people just don't get it when it comes to granting adoptees the same rights as other citizens.  I am sick and tired of being called selfish, ungrateful, and the newest accusation that we live in a fantasy land.  As I responded to this poster yes you are EXACTLY right!  Ammended birth certificates with changed names, dates, and birth places ARE a fantasy world.  And who wouldn't want the truth about their origins and more importantly, have the right to them upon request?

Why is it the geneology fervor that is so popular now and has become a family hobby for so many people not be ours too?  Why is it when adoptee's ask for their own biological and genetic information we are shut down and treated differently?  What is it about not wanting to live a life filled with untruths, half truths, and lies that people can't grasp?

I am supposed to be on vacation this week but as any writer knows when the inspiration hits you have to get it down or it can easily be lost.  It's just so hard to take a vacation from adoption because it IS our life we live it every day.  So this blog will be brief but I have so much more so say about the ACLU's failure to support adoptee rights on a continual basis.

For now I'll go spend some time with my family who thankfully understand my need to continue to work towards openness, honesty, and truth in adoption and my passion for adoption education.   Maybe one day I'll be spending time with my first family.  I'll never give up hope.  Everyone have a safe and fun filled Holiday weekend.


  1. It will never end, the need for letting others know how it really is.So far to go and so much misinformation out there.This week I've been told I was flippant, boring and making excuses for adoptees and am wrong about the importance of mothers and the reality of our loss of them.Like you I never give up hope..have a good week.

  2. Thank you I just can't stop speaking out about adoptee rights and working this "job" that is so important to not only those involved, but those that will be in the future, along with the rest of the world.

  3. {{HUGS}} XOX

    One of my fav sayings:
    " If Ignorance is Bliss, then why aren't More People happy?"

  4. Linda ty. Kristina I am going to steal that quote from you! SO true. We can't live full lives without full information.